On this page we will address a variety of issues that can make Cooperative Communication a little complicated or difficult. We are still in the process of developing material on these topics.

But to give you a sense of what will be added at some point in the future, here are some of the topics we want to address:

Asking questions: some people have never learned to ask questions, instead they tell you what they are thinking or feeling. Or they tell you what they think you are thinking and feeling instead of asking you. Also, the question “why?” can be tricky … it can sound like an invitation to share, it can sound like a criticism, depending on how you ask “why?”

Listening: As you probably have experienced, some people can listen well, others don’t know how to listen, or may not want to, or get defensive instead of listening.

Sharing Feelings: it can be difficult for some people to even notice their feelings, not to mention talk about them. And sometimes people “substitute” one feeling for another one, so that what they express outwardly may not be really what they are feeling.

Saying what you don’t want: for many different reasons, including traumatic experiences in a situation where it was not possible or it was dangerous to say “no,” some people have a hard time telling what they don’t want. And some people don’t want to hear what you don’t want, as if they will only accept a “yes” from you.

Saying what you want: again, for many different reasons, some people find it difficult to know what they want, and then of course they can’t tell you what they want.

Differences between people: gender, age, status in a society, position in a hierarchy, skin color, and many other kinds of differences can have a big impact on how we use (or find it difficult to use!) Cooperative Communication.